


You complete me // You had me at 'Is it true? Have you betrayed us?'

by aralias



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Community: trope_bingo, M/M, Meta, Ship Manifesto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-09
Updated: 2013-10-09
Packaged: 2018-05-13 00:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5687125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aralias/pseuds/aralias
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A one-sided Blake/Avon ship manifesto</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this ages ago for Trope Bingo. Originally posted here http://aralias.dreamwidth.org/1956706.html#cutid1
> 
> still needs to be cleaned up a bit, as i wrote it for my LJ, but you can read it here.

**Why one-sided?**

Because I think it's a waste of my time to prove that Avon is obsessed with Blake, because he just  _is_. Isn't he? I think he is.

Not convinced? OK, here's a very brief summary:

 _Most obvious times Avon showed he was obsessed with Blake:_  
1\. The inexcusable rescue of the two people who might have stopped him taking over the Liberator in episode 4. In fact, his 'automatic reaction' is  _always_  to save Blake.  
2\. Duel - esp: 'I have never understood why it should be necessary to become irrational in order to prove that you care, or, indeed, why it should be necessary to prove it at all.'  
3\. All of series 2, literally all of it, except the Robert Holmes episodes. Let's not pick particularly relevant moments, as there are too many and we'll be here all day, but I think the most relevant of all the relevant parts is: 'I want to be free of  _him_ ' (surely just another way of saying 'I wish I knew how to quit you,' like a gay cowboy)... and if we're doing ‘Star One’, let's also have: Avon's face when Blake says he's always trusted him.  _(Please note that having to choose just one_ _ ~~moment~~_ _episode from series 2 means I've had to ignore 'Redemption', which has not one, but two 'Oh dear, I fell on you in a heroic manner' moments.)_  
4\. ‘TERMINAL’  
5\. The final episode.

QED.

**So, you think Blake likes him just as much, do you?**

Well... yes.

I mean, probably, anyway. It's in enough doubt in my mind even after I've written tens of thousands words of fic that I feel the need to write a whole essay about it. I got to the end of series 2 and still wasn't 100% sure it went both ways, but then 'Blake' happened...

**Starting at the end: 'I was waiting for _you'_**

Basically, I find it difficult to interpret the way that Blake acts in the final episode and  _particularly_  that final scene  ~~as not stupid~~  as being anything other than the actions of a man who is very strongly personally invested in Avon.

Relevant points about this scene:

1\. He doesn't look at Vila. In fact, the whole thing is staged as these two men meeting and staring at each other, as though nobody else is important, which they aren't in this scene.

2\. It would be very easy to answer Avon's questions. It is the logical thing to do, and if you want to argue that he's just saying 'I was waiting for you' in an attempt to manipulate Avon's feelings for him so that Avon doesn't kill him, then tell me why he didn't do it better. 'Avon, I would never betray _you_ ' works much better, if you're thinking about it coldly and rationally. Instead, Blake acts illogically and says some random and confusing bullshit, because even though he knew Avon was coming he wasn't quite prepared for it to actually happen.

3\. So - let's examine the random and confusing: essentially, he's trusting to Avon's feelings for him. Rather than answering the specific question that Avon asks, Blake brings up his identity (it's me, Blake) and the fact that _he_ set this up (obviously unfortunate double-meaning there, but it's another call back to the fact that Blake thinks that Avon knows him and the kind of thing he'd set up. The crucial part of the sentence is 'I' - I, Blake, set this up. You know the kind of thing I'd set up. It's a good sort of set up).

He hasn't really responded to Avon's feelings for him to this extent before, or even been so willing to acknowledge that Avon _has_ positive feelings for him. It's been cagey, with Blake trying to get Avon to admit it (i.e. Do you want to tell me why?) or it's been Blake telling Avon about his own feelings (i.e. I have always trusted you).

For the sake of this essay (though it’s a wild extrapolation, I agree), I am going to read this willingness to bank on Avon's trust/love, and this willingness to respond to it, as Blake finally having allowed himself to believe that Avon has trusted/loved him all along.  _Or_  (and I find this more likely because I think Blake knows Avon loves him, because it is very very obvious, _see above_ ) that he's willing to definitely reciprocate Avon's feelings now. 

4\. Blake is now a man who finds it difficult to trust. He still obviously trusts Avon.

5\. You could argue that Blake is waiting for Avon to bring him Orac, the Liberator and a talented group of people (including Avon) with skills that could be put towards the revolution. You could argue that. I'm not going to. I think... he knows about what happened to the Liberator. If Avon's famous at all in his own right, then news about the Scorpio will have got around, and Blake's a clever man: he'd know what that meant. I think - he'd like Orac, that's true, but I don't think it's particularly relevant to what he's doing on Gauda Prime. I think he's learned to live without it. Ditto the random people he's never met. If he doesn't have the Liberator then Vila's talents are not so obviously useful as they were in series 1 and 2 (where has Blake got to break into on Gauda Prime?).

That leaves the second greatest computer expert in the Federated worlds as something Blake might want as a resource. However, I'd argue that Deva is very good at his job ( _“I got us access to official channels, information, everything we could possibly need!”_ Everything, eh? Well, doesn't seem to leave much space for Avon – Deva already has _everything_ ), and that therefore Blake doesn't need Avon for his skills any more. Perhaps he could use Avon’s alliance of warlords, but I think Blake could have set that up himself if he'd wanted. He's the figurehead avon needs, so he'd probably find it easier than Avon did.  
  
Therefore - I think we are supposed to read 'Avon, I was waiting for  _you_ ' as 'I was waiting for you personally'. As the romance movie dialogue it seems to be out of context. 

And i think (more extrapolation) part of the reason he's so very keen on Avon at the moment... is that, as I suggested above, he's heard what's happened to the Liberator, and he's heard about what Avon's been doing. Personally, I find it difficult _not_ to read series 4 as Avon's attempts to be Blake - either as a way of avenging Blake’s supposed death, or as a way of saying when they meet again 'Here, I did this for you - please take me back'. And I think that Blake has heard about it - and is impressed.

I think, when Avon arrives on Gauda Prime, what Blake knows is none of the bad stuff about Vila, and all the good stuff. And I think when he says 'Avon, I was waiting for you', what he means is 'I've heard what you've been doing and I'm so proud of you and I want to be with you, if you want that'. (This is sort of what I did in my fic 'Chance of Freedom' with Blake only kissing Avon after he'd allowed himself to be the Avon that Blake knew he was. If that makes sense.)

6\. Even after Avon shoots him, Blake still spends his final moments walking to Avon. Why? To guilt him? That's a stupid idea given that Avon's just shot him. I mean, it's possible. Blake does some dumb shit this week, but I think it's probably selfish. and an automatic reaction, if you will. I also think that his final word (“ _Avon_ …”) is not angry, so much as disbelieving. How could it all go so wrong? This was supposed to be the moment when everything was OK again.

And, yes, you could argue (again, you can tell from that I'm _not_ going to argue this), that having everything be about Avon for Blake is character assassination. As I said, I disagree with this pretty comprehensively.

I think that Chris  _definitely_  knows what these characters want and mean to each other, and I trust him with this relationship, particularly in episodes that he wrote (except Rescue, obviously).

I've seen people argue this about 'Terminal', the jewel in the crown of my 'Avon loves Blake' argument. Non-slashers seem to think it ignores Avon's character development up to that point. (This is the only thing about the ‘Avon loves Blake’ side that I feel is worth arguing, so let’s have a little detour.) I disagree, obviously. Avon risking everything in a stupid plan to save Blake is absolutely 100% in accordance with everything that happens in series 2 – Avon and Fake!Blake even point this out to each other _(“You mean after I get you out of the mess you've got yourself into? Just like old times?” // “Not that easy this time. The lightning raid...snatch me from the jaws of death isn't on, I'm afraid_.”) Avon was last looking or Blake in Volcano, true, (and that was a long time ago, leading to people discussing ‘Avon looking for Blake’ through 3 and 4 as fanon, rather than canon!), but they'd clearly looked a _lot_ of places at that point. Avon seems bitter and irritated that they haven't found him, and I guess either assumes Blake doesn't want to be found or is just waiting for a better rumour. Then he spends the whole of series 3 not really very interested in _anything_ , except  ~~sopron~~  Anna Grant, who is a) his proto-Blake and b) someone he can avenge much more easily than Blake because he knows for sure that Anna is dead, whereas Blake is an uncertainty - it would be wrong to mourn him without knowing, etc etc.

 When the Terminal message comes through, Avon is reminded that he actually gives a crap about something. Blake's apparent death on Terminal then motivates him to take command of the crew properly, instead of just listlessly waiting for Blake to come back and give him something to do that matters. Series 4 may be silly in many ways, but at least Avon has a goal - find scientists, find super weapons, destroy the Federation like Blake would have wanted.

Similarly, I think Blake being personally invested in Avon is given a lot of groundwork in the first two series, if you're looking out for it. And I've re-watched a few times, looking out for it.

So, let's talk about the main ones, then.

 

**Starting at the beginning: 'I'm not surprised'**

_The Web_  
Obviously it's Avon who grabs  _him_ , but Blake doesn't move away. What he does do is ask Avon why - which is a weird thing to do (although Blake does something similar in 'Pressure Point' - _Do you want to tell me why?_ i.e. do you want to stop pretending that we don't like each other? No, you don't). Obviously the answer to 'Why did you pull me out of the way of that bomb?' is 'Because I wanted to save you', so Blake must want Avon to tell him this, at which point he could say thank you properly, and perhaps they could start having a proper... friendship(?) that is based on Avon admitting that he, Avon, is a good person, and that he thinks Blake in particular is worth saving.

Instead, Avon chooses to deny that there's any good in him at all/that he cares for Blake in general or in particular. At which point (in 'The Web'), Blake is pissed off, because he thought maybe this was going to be a nice thing between them. He's more ok with Avon's evasion by the time the question rolls round again in PP, because he knows Avon a lot better and I think he definitely knows by then that Avon is crazy about him. Thus he can take Avon's failure to answer as Avon just being coy and ridiculous (playing games), rather than Avon saying 'fuck off, leave me alone'.

Later in the episode he explicitly says Avon is his friend, too, which is nice. And then obviously he chooses to save Avon over the Decimas, which I think probably surprised and touched Avon.

 _Breakdown_  
This episode is full of lovely and wonderful bits where they talk at the same time as each other, which in movie parlance means they're thinking along the same lines/working together, etc (and that some part of their brains realises it).

 _AVON They've made every minor adjustment that the systems require. And the chances are that they are now going to require a lot._  
_BLAKE Because computer control is --_  
_BLAKE and AVON -- part of the basic design concept._  
_BLAKE Damn._

This episode is the best example of the working together genre, but they do seem to know exactly what the other is thinking at various other points - 'Star One' _(‘First count your_ _computer’_ ) is a good example.

Then - Avon threatens to leave for reals this time (for no real reason, jeez). And Blake is so angry that Cally notices and draws our attention to it. So, clearly he doesn't want Avon to leave. For his computer skills? Yes, probably, but then why angry? I assume he's angry because once again Avon is trying to argue that he's a selfish bastard who doesn't care about the rebellion or Blake and the others – and, yes, that he doesn't want to give his computer skills to the rebellion. It's a disappointment in Avon thing, though, rather than an 'Oh no, what are we going to do now? Who will fix Zen?'

I assume this is also why Blake actively refuses to convince Avon to stay. The logical thing to do, if he wanted to keep Avon, would be to at least try - or to ask Cally to try, if he's too proud or thinks it wouldn't work. But Blake is too hurt and angry to be logical. So he's like, 'Well, fuck you, Avon. Leave if you want to. See if I care.'

What he clearly wants is not just for Avon to stay, but for Avon to _prove_ that he wants to stay. He can’t force Avon to stay, or persuade him because Avon might change his mind later. Blake needs to know for sure if he's going to be able to keep caring about Avon.

And then Avon does come back. Hooray! So, without wanting to admit there was a problem to Avon (as that would be embarrassing), Blake rewards him by allowing him to give the command to Zen about the speed.

 _Deliverance_  
The obvious Doylist reason for this episode existing is so that Blake can be un-radiationed for the series finale. From a Watsonian perspective... why the hell didn't Blake put _Jenna_  in charge of this mission? Because Avon shows more natural leadership skills? I don't even know. (Actually it doesn't make much sense from a Doylist perspective, either. Why _not_ Jenna? I guess.... because Avon is a more popular character IRL? I don't think they know that yet... but maybe they do. Or probably: because Avon needs to be in charge for the Meegat plot.)

So - I have to extrapolate again, and this is what I have extrapolated.

I assume that Avon asked, actually, and Blake wanted to encourage him to more similar behaviour re- caring about some random people he doesn't know and yes - being a good leader. He's then awful to Avon when Avon loses Jenna, because (I would argue, he thinks) he put his personal feelings for Avon/his desire to let Avon develop into a better person _ahead_ of the safety of the group. We see elsewhere in the series that Blake blames himself for everything, and also that the way his self-hatred and worry manifests itself (Avon points out this out explicitly in 'Shadow') is for him to get angry at everyone else.

You could argue that he's angry at Avon for killing the woman he loves, or just losing one of his best friends, or even just losing someone. You could argue that. I will talk more about Jenna a bit later on. But i think - this irritation is how Blake's self hatred manifests itself. I don't know. I do accept the straight-forward answer as well.

 _Orac_  
After the events of ‘Deliverance’ (which I would argue show Avon in a very good light, even though he lost Jenna), Blake makes an effort to show he cares about Avon's opinion enough to show him (not Jenna, the one who knows about ships) the 'last time on Blake's 7' video.

 _Horizon_  
Ok, this is a weaksauce point, but I am just going to point out that the end of this episode involves Blake lolling around in white shirt for no apparent reason. It looks like being sexy on purpose is all I'm saying. And by that I mean - it looks like he is flirting with Avon, who is looming over him.

 _Pressure Point_  
OK - so, talking about flirting: Blake is definitely flirting with him over that 'the others have decided to come with me' conversation (particularly 'there's no hurry').

Now (assuming you agree), you could say... he's doing it to manipulate Avon into going with him, but I think (like with that bit in 'Blake'), if he was,  _he'd do it better._  Like, actually promise Avon the Liberator or something. I really do think he's just being Blake - and that Avon set the tone for the conversation by being so warm over his first line ('I thought they would') and Blake responds to that warmth - although not so much that there isn't plausible deniability, and not so much that Avon (who I think is much less sure about what Blake feels for him than the other way around - to be fair, Blake is much less obvious about it) isn't still unsure whether Blake meant to flirt so hard.

Anyway - they flirt, and Avon agrees to go with him (why? BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU, BLAKE), and Blake lowers his voice for 'There's no hurry' and it is very sexy. The end.

Let's move on before this post becomes about how sexy Blake is... until he cuts his hair. (it's very sexy, though. Just saying).

So... they get into Control and there's nothing there and Blake is devastated, leading to him seeking comfort from...

Obviously _Avon_ offers the comfort (and the physical contact) first (what did I say about him being obviously into Blake?) - but Blake wanders towards him, not Vila. And Blake is the one to fist his hand in Avon's jacket, which I would point out is not only a desperate gesture, but also a definitely sexualised one. He's not thinking clearly at the moment, or he wouldn't do it.

 _Hostage_  
OK, so this episode ends with Blake kissing a lady (of this more later), but that comes out of the blue and is vaguely inexplicable. What is important (no, really, this is the important bit) about this episode, though, is that we learn that Avon did something really stupid and dangerous because he disagreed with Blake and wanted to keep him safe/away from a pretty girl (whatever). Then, when he tells this to Blake, Blake is vaguely angry, but not  _too_  angry.

I think he understands that Avon did it for what he thought were the right reasons, and that he immediately tried to fix it by putting himself in exactly the same situation that he earlier thought was too dangerous for Blake to put himself in. Thus - they're immediately off together on their Travis-killing adventure, and then Avon gets hurt and Blake basically climbs onto him... which apart from 'Pressure Point' is the first time Blake's been up in his personal space, and basically the most you ever get to see any people not explicitly or implicitly lovers touch each other in this series (I think). Why doesn't Travis make some comment about how gay this is? Probably  ~~because it would be too close to the mark~~  because this was on the BBC in the 1980s. They do it in _Teen Wolf_...

_Countdown_  
Apart from 'Blake', this is pretty much the episode that sells Blake's interest for me. Interestingly it's also one where Avon has a canonical non-Blake love interest and an episode that he spends being stupidly brave and heroic for his canonical not-Blake love interest.

I think the presence of Anna Grant in the narrative is actually what brings the protectiveness, rudeness and stupidity (all of which I am going to read as signs of interest) out in Blake. Anna is both a sign that Avon was once definitely able to be in a relationship with someone, and a definite rival for Avon's affections even in death (typical Avon, he proves his love for dead!Anna by putting his life on the line in a stupidly heroic fashion).

Four moments of interest re- Blake's behaviour in this episode (protective, rude, stupid... must be love).

1\. I love that he threatens Del Grant with personal vengeance. Yes, it doesn't prove anything on its own, but it's nice that Blake, who is the hero, cares enough about Avon to at least threaten to track down a good man that he likes and kill him if anything happens to Avon.

Also, this pose is so 'I'm with Avon'.

2\. Then there's this:

Discussing your romantic backstory in a private conversation with the brother of your dead girlfriend? Blake would like to be in on that conversation, don't mind him.

I guess he could just be nosy - we haven't had a chance, really, to see him talk to the others about their backstories. Maybe he's like this all the time, but the evidence we have (this evidence) says he is very interested in Avon's romantic life.

3\. Then he stays and forces Vila to stay on the planet of probable death for _no reason_ when Avon goes over the safety tolerance on the solium bomb. This is a moment I used for 'Chance of Freedom' to show that even Avon knows that Blake loves him, because I think it is so evidently a moment of Blake being overinvested past the point of sense (Just teleport back to the ship!!!) that it is difficult not to read something into it, even if you are crazy like Avon.

Blake trusts Avon to make the miracle... or doesn't want to be alive if Avon’s failed. And he forgets, in his single-mindedness, that Vila really doesn't deserve to die for Blake’s faith in Avon.

I think Blake genuinely cares about Vila etc, btw (I could prove that, too, at some other date, if you'd like), so I think this is a real moment of Blake just couldn't think straight as was too worried...

4\. How do we read this scene?

 _BLAKE Are you going to tell me about Anna?_  
_AVON You wouldn't understand._  
_BLAKE Wouldn't I?_  
_AVON I doubt it._

I must say, I think it's weird whatever happens, but mostly I read it like this -

 _Blake: Do you want to tell me about something that was important to you? Because you like me, and I'm important to you?_  
_Avon: You wouldn't understand, Blake, because you've never known love, probably, because you just love your cause._  
_Blake: Are you sure about that? Perhaps I am in fact in love with you._  
_Avon: I am too wrapped up in myself at the moment to understand what you are saying._

If it's not a personal thing between these two men, then I'm not sure that _'Wouldn't I?'_ makes any sense at all. It's not like Avon has generally accused Blake of not loving anyone.

I guess maybe Blake thinks they are talking about letting someone down/letting someone die... but _of course_ he knows about that, which means it isn’t plausible.

 _Star One_  
The opening bit of this episode is all about how Avon can't stand the fact that he's in love with Blake, because it makes him do dangerous, stupid shit and he's sick of it and is also sick of the way Blake hasn't responded properly and doesn't (he thinks - probably) even return the affection or know about it, or what.

I think Blake knows exactly what Avon is specifically bitching about. And, in a way, I think he’s _right –_ but Avon's overriding emotion is that he loves Blake and hates that he does.

Apart from it being a semi-accurate description, Blake also says 'You really do hate me', I think, because once again he wants to see whether Avon will give the proper answer, which is, 'No, I don't, you stupid wazzock. Why do you think I keep fucking saving you?' In a way, Avon does give this answer by not answering.

And then it's like it never happened. Which is weird. I think they both privately agreed that was too intense and they'd rather just... pretend it never happened.

Skip on, skip on (although the dialogue in this episode is so delicious, I love it) to:

 _AVON [to Blake] Why didn't you stay in the medical unit? Couldn't you bring yourself to trust me just this once?_  
_BLAKE I thought I might be able to help._  
_AVON In that condition?_  
_BLAKE All right I'll go back._  
_AVON Can you manage, alone?_  
_BLAKE Yes. Avon, for what it is worth, I have always trusted you, from the very beginning._

Many things are nice about this scene, not least of which is Avon coddling Blake and the way Avon's face is sort of sad and resigned but also happy when Blake has gone.

But! That’s not relevant, because we already proved Avon loves Blake. So - what's also nice is that Avon says - you are too sick, go and rest, and Blake says... yes dear.

There may be a few isolated incidents (things like - not going back for Cally when to do so would mean the certain death of everyone on Liberator), but, mostly, Blake doesn't do what people say when he doesn't want to do it. Here, he came to offer his help, because he is Blake and he thought that he was a good man to have in a fight (true) and also he likes to be in on the action. He definitely wants to stay. But then Avon says go back and rest and... he does. Because - Blake stands by his promises, and he's promised Avon command, and because Avon is doing something very very good and heroic and being the Avon Blake wants him to be, and because it's  _Avon_  telling him to go back and to go back would show that he trusts him.

And then - Blake says The Line. I have plenty to say about this line, I'm afraid (you may say - Katy, you have plenty to say about everything, and you wouldn't be wrong).

First things first: it's possible that he says 'I have always trusted you' purely to manipulate Avon into fighting/continue using the Liberator for the rebellion. (That old chestnut again, but many people do say this about Blake.)

I think this isn't what's happening. Avon's already agreed, for a start. I also think the way Blake says it is sort of angry (much like the way he says 'I'm not surprised'). This time, I think it's a bit - 'For god's sake, don't you fucking get it? OF COURSE I TRUST YOU.'

I also think... for all he's got a bad rep in fandom as a Machiavelli figure, Blake isn't the sort of person to use people like this. He’s definitely a morally grey figure, but what he does really is conceal information and then refuse to listen to people's valid objections: withholding and bulldozing, not outright lying. You could say he manipulates everyone by going to the planet that eats him (Avon does say this, I think), but I also think that, judging by Blake's self-indulgent sulk about Cally being dead (so he thought) in ‘Seek Locate Destroy’, and the way Jenna describes his behaviour in ‘Trial’ Blake genuinely wants to go for an angsty wallow, and had no idea whether the others would come and get him.

Then - you could say, he uses the way Jenna feels about him to stop her worrying about him going down to the planet in 'Killer'. Actually, I do think this one is sort of fair. But I also think... he made a reasonable argument that time as well. And turning on the charm towards someone you definitely do _like_ is not the same as outright lying to someone about whether or not you like them _at all_ (which is what we would have to accept Blake was capable of if we to assume that he doesn't mean that he's always trusted Avon).

So - I'm going to take the statement as being a true one - for a limited value of truth. Obviously Blake hasn't  _always_  trusted Avon - presumably Jenna told him about Cygnus Alpha and there's that business with Horizon. Blake isn't stupid, and he's not a saint - so there's no way he could just have crazily trusted Avon  _always_ , from the very beginning. But I think... and I wrote this in 'Chance of Freedom' (sensing a pattern here? It's where all my meta went before I wrote this essay) that he has always trusted Avon...  _to be a good person_  underneath all the snark, and to eventually do the right thing. He trusts  _in_  Avon, even if he doesn't actually trust him not to steal a big crate of diamonds if it was there and he thought Blake wouldn't find out, and even if (at the beginning of their relationship) he doesn't trust Avon to not at least think about abandoning him on Cygnus.

I also think that Blake means it... as a sort of hyperbolic statement, meant to convey the  _extent_  to which he trusts and likes Avon. It's not strictly factually accurate, but it does effectively convey the idea that Blake... trusts and like Avon  _a lot._

It's weird to imagine a world in which series 3 might have seen these two characters continuing their relationship in the light of Blake having finally said something unequivocal. I mean - it's not 'I love you', but in a way, it's better, because as _Blake's 7_ fanfic points out to you repeatedly you can love someone, and not like them/not trust them) and Avon reacting as he does... means that he understands what it means/that everything has changed. I think.

But anyway - then they get separated. And even though it's only because Gareth Thomas wanted to go and be a Real Actor, I think it makes a lot of sense thematically to break them up now at this point where these two antagonists have admitted (Avon only with his face, but he did it a lot) that they like each other. Because they weren't going to sleep together on BBC prime time. If they had had to stay together, they could easily have gone downhill again to make more drama (in a television show, rather than in the relationship - I like to think things could change at this point, if circumstances had been different) and that would have been sad. As it is - we can has Terminal <3

 


	2. appendix

**but you don't think they slept together on the liberator?**  
  
no. i mean, i'd increasingly read and write it (although it's notable that i've never written something PGP that assumes they were together previously. i almost always AU from canon if we're doing a series 2 relationship), but they seem to be driven by this frustration of not knowing/not having ever had a talk about what they could mean to each other. and the reunion in 'blake' seems like a beginning from blake at least - 'now we won't be so awful to each other'/'now you have proved yourself, i can admit i love you'.   
  
on a personal note, i just want to think they would be happier with each other/blake would order avon around less etc (i mean, yes, they'd still argue and blake would still be domineering) if they were in a relationship. i dont want to believe that best we can hope for is what we see in the show. avon deserves better than to be in a relationship with a man who only offers him 'i have always trusted you' AFTER they've begun sleeping together.   
  
while writing i usually assign various reasons to both of them for not going for it (given that i think they're both crazy about each other), and obviously these can change depending on the story and whether i've thought of something new, etc, but here are some reasons that i think would keep them from so much as declaring until 'blake':  
  
avon:  
-doesn't want to trust or love anyone else, because he  
\--doesn't want to rely on other people  
\--doesn't want to go through the pain of losing someone again  
\--doesn't feel like he can protect people he loves  
  
-doesn't want to be in love with blake, specifically. which has some subsections  
\--doesn't trust blake not to use him  
\--feels used by blake already  
\--is usually really angry with blake for his specific decisions, even as he ultimately thinks they are right  
  
-doesn't know whether blake feels the same way  
  
-potentially doesn't want everyone taking the piss out of him for loving blake after everything he's said, but i think this is a minor one that he'd get past.  
  
-thinks he's maybe only obsessed with blake/doesn't realise how much he loves him. until 'terminal' and 'blake'.  
  
  
blake:  
-feels he needs to dedicate himself to the revolution  
\--feels he would be a very bad boyfriend, given that he has to dedicate himself to the revolution  
\--doesn't want to encourage avon to think he can disagree in a way that could damage the revolution (not flattering, but there we are)  
\--feels he doesn't deserve to be happy until the revolution's over  
  
-is probably aware that jenna is in love with him too and it would be really awkward if he chose one of the two of them  
  
-feels avon is a selfish jerk and is really angry with him a lot of the time.   
-worries that avon will think that a sexual relationship would be just a way to use him  
-worries that he might use avon  
-doesn't want to make avon stay for the wrong reasons  
-doesn't want to intrude on avon's still-current pain about anna's death  
  
 **some general points about blake and other potential partners**  
  
i can't remember exactly what i was going to say here, so i may have to come back and add more later once it's not stupidly late at night. here's what i am going to say now.   
  
this could basically be called 'blake and women' - avon has a weird thing with tynus, but blake is pretty much exclusively pursued by or potentially romantically interested in women (EDIT - no wait! travis. who he doesn't give a crap about).   
  
which is weird, actually, because almost all of his interactions with jenna make me scream 'stop being so gay, blake!' at the screen.  
  
he's not usually that gay - he's not usually that anything actually, but he's so avuncular with jenna. he takes two beautiful women with him to freedom city and then totally ignores them and how nice they've dressed up, and... they go off with each other ;)  
  
and the moment of manipulation i gave him earlier... looked like this:  
  


  
  
and meanwhile he has this ridiculous bit in 'breakdown' (an episode about how he is gay for avon - see above), where he's like - jenna, please use your womanly charms to win over these guys. and she's like - i might not be their type, and blake's like - not you, my beautiful daughter. how could any straight man resist you?  
  
or there's this touch from bounty:  
  


  
  
STOP BEING SO GAY.   
  
or rather don't ;)  
  
so yes - jenna. she comes onto him a lot in the first episode, and he definitely loves her and stuff but it looks super platonic.   
  
then... he does seem to have noticed that sinofar was beautiful.   
  
but is angry at the idea that tyce might have found him attractive.   
  
and then there's the cousin kiss... i don't even know what this is. it's like they didn't think... hmm, blake was accused of child molesting, and his cousin's really young and he hasn't seen her for ages, so she was even younger. i assume it's a matter of the director not being on the same page as the writers...   
  
either that, or blake is kissing inga to get back at avon. and jenna? i don't know. it's certainly weird and passionless. and with a girl 10 years his junior.   
  
dear dear.   
  
anyway - the point is, that sinofar's beauty aside (which he didn't act on while it was actually happening to him, and which i don't actually think he responds to in a sexual way at all), blake is very not sexual with almost everyone else on screen. i'm not arguing that he goes for men, just that he doesn't really go for anyone who shows interest in him.   
  
however, i would argue that the way that he argues with avon is very loaded, and very physical as well (admittedly avon's fault, but he didn't like the idea that tyce might be interested. and that there are definite moments of intentioned flirting - see, pressure point.   
  
i'm sure i had some other points, but i no longer remember them and/or have already covered them. the point is - that blake treats avon differently, both better and worse than everyone else he knows, and that the way the show is framed tells me that the blake/avon relationship is the most important thing about this universe. another weird thing to imagine is if the show had been picked up again for an actual series 5 - blake's dead, and avon gets on with his life. it would take a lot of the pressure and emphasis of that final confrontation away, if we could put it in context... rather than as the capstone of both of their lives, but the show _does_ end there. and we assume they are both dead, and that both of them knew at the end that the other loved them in some weird awful way that destroyed both of them.  
  
except in the fanfic. some of the fanfic anyway <3


End file.
